I'm a Chameleon !!
I don’t think there’s just one thing that I could be absolutely confident about labeling as my best characteristic. There’s lots of good and bad things about me. I will say though, a trait I’m glad to have is that I own multiple personalities. It makes me more versatile. I’m a part of different friend groups with different people, and I’m able to do that because of my personalities, plural. Each friend group consists of people with similar interests and hobbies, but it differs per group. I have a variety of tastes for things, so it's difficult for me to hangout with just one group of friends.
With the change between groups, I end up changing my persona because the overall vibe is different. One friend group might be more chaotic or mess around more than another which might consist of people who are more calm and don’t particularly like antics, so I tend to adjust myself per situation.
I have a group of friends who like to listen to kpop, are more into fashion than your average person, and often talk about and enjoy materialistic things. We’re also all asian, so it's easier to relate to experiences regarding our families and cultures. I’d say in general, they’re the most mature friends I have. It feels weird for me to act immature around them or make bold jokes, though I’m not saying that’s something I have to consciously prevent myself from doing or that it's bad; it's good to take a step back from your childishness sometimes. I just naturally find myself bringing out the more mature side of me when I’m with them. Well, most of the time.
On the other hand, I’m also in a friend group where we send each other a ton of memes and funny videos, we talk about absolutely random things and have a lot of humor, we play a variety of video games like Valorant--so basically your typical nerdy gamer-weebs. I feel free to say things that are profane or make snide comments, because I know they won’t take it seriously. It's a normal thing between us, but we also respect each other’s boundaries. I think I act more immature around this group of friends because we tend to mess around as a form of interaction. Of course there’s moments when I have to be mature but that depends on the situation and usually not the case.
Along with both examples of some of the friend groups I get along with and the corresponding change in my behavior, my language and appearance also differ. The way I speak with the first friend group I mentioned is softer in tone compared to the latter friend group, and I find myself putting more thought and effort into what I wear to match everyone else. It's normal for us to dress nicely when we’re together and we find it fun. Meanwhile, I usually don’t care what I wear around the latter group of friends because it's not something we care about and I would feel overdressed. From my experience, at least.
Having different personalities--my interests, language, behavior, appearance--is something that helps me adapt to and get along with different people with the same interests as me. Though I quickly realized that it’s sort of unfortunate. I can’t find people who have all the same interests as me, so I end up finding different groups with those different interests that I have, jumping from group to group regularly. No one group has everything. Then again, I can’t expect anything more because people are unique, and it’s a bit obvious that it will be hard to find someone or some people who can relate to you on everything and enjoy every single thing you enjoy. At that point, they’d just be clones of you. You’d lose all the varying perspectives, opinions, characteristics, and more. So I suppose it's not really unfortunate, rather, I’m extremely fortunate to have so many diverse and interesting people in my life. But then I end up asking myself, “who am I really?” Is my personality now just a combination of all the different personalities I have? Probably. I guess I should figure that out.
With the change between groups, I end up changing my persona because the overall vibe is different. One friend group might be more chaotic or mess around more than another which might consist of people who are more calm and don’t particularly like antics, so I tend to adjust myself per situation.
I have a group of friends who like to listen to kpop, are more into fashion than your average person, and often talk about and enjoy materialistic things. We’re also all asian, so it's easier to relate to experiences regarding our families and cultures. I’d say in general, they’re the most mature friends I have. It feels weird for me to act immature around them or make bold jokes, though I’m not saying that’s something I have to consciously prevent myself from doing or that it's bad; it's good to take a step back from your childishness sometimes. I just naturally find myself bringing out the more mature side of me when I’m with them. Well, most of the time.
On the other hand, I’m also in a friend group where we send each other a ton of memes and funny videos, we talk about absolutely random things and have a lot of humor, we play a variety of video games like Valorant--so basically your typical nerdy gamer-weebs. I feel free to say things that are profane or make snide comments, because I know they won’t take it seriously. It's a normal thing between us, but we also respect each other’s boundaries. I think I act more immature around this group of friends because we tend to mess around as a form of interaction. Of course there’s moments when I have to be mature but that depends on the situation and usually not the case.
Along with both examples of some of the friend groups I get along with and the corresponding change in my behavior, my language and appearance also differ. The way I speak with the first friend group I mentioned is softer in tone compared to the latter friend group, and I find myself putting more thought and effort into what I wear to match everyone else. It's normal for us to dress nicely when we’re together and we find it fun. Meanwhile, I usually don’t care what I wear around the latter group of friends because it's not something we care about and I would feel overdressed. From my experience, at least.
Having different personalities--my interests, language, behavior, appearance--is something that helps me adapt to and get along with different people with the same interests as me. Though I quickly realized that it’s sort of unfortunate. I can’t find people who have all the same interests as me, so I end up finding different groups with those different interests that I have, jumping from group to group regularly. No one group has everything. Then again, I can’t expect anything more because people are unique, and it’s a bit obvious that it will be hard to find someone or some people who can relate to you on everything and enjoy every single thing you enjoy. At that point, they’d just be clones of you. You’d lose all the varying perspectives, opinions, characteristics, and more. So I suppose it's not really unfortunate, rather, I’m extremely fortunate to have so many diverse and interesting people in my life. But then I end up asking myself, “who am I really?” Is my personality now just a combination of all the different personalities I have? Probably. I guess I should figure that out.
Very interesting perspective. I know that one philosopher thought that our personality is defined by those we are around. I think it might be interesting if you explore how everyone might have multiple personalities like this and what that entails, but that could make this less of a personal essay and more of a philosphical rambling. I also think this may be more powerful if you make the sections on describing your personas and friend groups more concise, and develop the question of "is my personality now just a combination of all the personalities I have?". Like maybe you could talk about what your personality would be alternatively, because I can't think of anything else at the moment. Maybe you could talk about a personality you prefer at times? idk I personally typically prefer my cheerful energetic personality but I also need my more melancholy and reflective personality to develop myself beyond just a two dimensional ball of energy and understand how my actions might affect those around me. Like people get tired of constant energy sometimes so knowing when to calm down is important. So maybe you could talk about the dynamic between your personalities. You mention how you sometimes have to be more mature with your second friend group, so that may be a starting point for the dynamic. It's up to you though.
ReplyDeleteThis essay does a great job of balancing storytelling and reflection. Not only do you talk about your different friend groups, but you think about what you being part of each friend group might mean. I personally relate a lot to your experiences, even though my circumstances might be different. I often find myself changing my personality or "vibe" to match the people around me. This is why your last paragraph was so impactful, because you talk about everyone's differences, and how it could be looked at in both a good and bad way.
ReplyDeleteI really like your post because I think it's something that most people (at least me) can relate to on some degree. Maybe you should mention that relatability somewhere in your essay to make the essay even more interesting for the reader? I think your essay does a good job of maintaining a relatively informal tone, but I think adding some rhetorical devices such as questions could make it even better.
ReplyDeleteI completely relate to your essay, because it's exactly the same for me (and I'm sure for a lot of other people).I have one friend group that barely plays video games or uses the internet, and prefers to go outside all the time and have fun without having to buy things (it's a little tough to hang out with them though, because only two of us live in Illinois anymore). My other friend group is much more into games and the internet, and doesn't go out as much. And I definitely agree that some of the parts I like are in each group, so I can't have them all at the same time. I also like how you related this "friend group" story with the multiple personality thing. Good job!
ReplyDeleteLike the other comments here have said, your essay definitely struck a chord! I agree that adapting to different social situations—in this case, different friend groups—is something that everyone experiences, and you did a great job highlighting this through conveying your own experiences. I also liked that you examined various viewpoints, looking at both the good and the bad of having multiple personalities. ("Having different personalities ... is something that helps me adapt to and get along with different people with the same interests as me. Though I quickly realized that it’s sort of unfortunate.")
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